Self-sabotage is a very common topic when it comes to weight loss.
So many of my clients tell me that they are sabotaging themselves and yet I absolutely loathe the term!
To sabotage something means to significantly destroy or damage something.
So what you are telling me is that you are definitely trying to destroy or damage yourself.
The trouble is that I find that very hard to accept. I know that's how it might feel, but it's simply not true.
We are all born with a very strong survival instinct. We want to survive and we want to be the best that we can be. We have no interest in elaborately destroying ourselves.
What you tend to label self-sabotage is simply some kind of internal resistance – a message from your body that all is not well.
The key is not to feel negative towards this resistance – all feedback is useful feedback. It's important that you take notice of what your body is saying to you.
Often it's some kind of internal conflict that is causing this resistance – a "battle" as many of you call it. You feel as if you are somehow split in two with one part of you desperate to lose weight and another part of you seeming to want to hold you back.
This is not your body trying to sabotage your efforts.
It's your body telling you that it's uncomfortable with something and that's fine.
Take some time out to listen to each part of you.
What's the positive intention of each part?
What is each part trying to achieve for you?
Why does one part of you want to lose weight and the other not?
It's not some malicious intent, I assure you.
The part wanting you to lose weight might have positive intentions such as:
- Wanting you to be healthy
- Wanting you to be around to enjoy your children and grandchildren
- Wanting you to be happy
Whilst the part not wanting you to lose weight has positive intentions such as:
- Wanting to make life easy for you
- Wanting you to love yourself as you are
- Wanting you to be happy
So, this apparently malicious part of you, that you used to think was trying to sabotage your weight loss goals, actually has extremely positive intentions.
In fact it often shares the same ultimate positive intention as the other part of you ie it wants you to be happy.
When you understand the positive intentions of the part seeming trying to hold you back, you can seek to resolve the issue. How can you lose weight and still satisfy that positive intention?
So, in this example:
How could you lose weight and still make life easy for yourself?
How could you lose weight and still prove that you love yourself as you are?
Once you resolve the issues, both parts will reunite and work together as a powerful positive force to help you achieve your weight loss goal.