I'm baaaaack! Well, I think I've been here all the time. Just coming back to real l …

I'm baaaaack! Well, I think I've been here all the time. Just come back to reality after a weekly holiday and a later binge festival. I set out to enjoy the ice cream and I went babe crazy crazy, I smoked, I drank, I had all the cars. There was no autopilot, there were no limits and … I'm up S E V E N P O U N D S. Yes, I know some are waterproof, I know some are food weight, I know I'm bloated and dried. But it's a lot of damage.
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I knew what I was doing, I just lost my mind. But I enjoyed it … that's what I'm trying to wrap my head around. It is truly addiction. It's my addiction. I know I'm not my best self when I eat carbohydrates, just as I'm not my best self when I drink, but I still want to drop every single time and again. I do not want to be sober for the rest of my life, is it wrong? Is my carbohydrate wrong? Is even related to drug wrong? Ehhhhhh that's too much to think about.
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I've had a lot in my mind. Think of temporary attempts to tear my inner thoughts about binges, eating, dieting, lifestyle changes, etc. I think if I put it on paper it could give me clarity.
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Anyway, I also know that I have not withdrawn all my progress. I know that my step is just that, step back. 3 years ago in the first movie in Asheville while we were little manned. The second picture is from Friendsgiving last year to this year. Progress is still there. I have not withdrawn all the weight loss. My journey is still running, I'm still trying to figure out how to manage this way to eat. #progress #progressnotperfection




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